Note from Chris: Accepting where you are
Good day, friends. I'm at home working online the day after our golden retriever Rocky had ACL surgery, so we're helping nurse him back to health. It's January 2025, and I hope the start of your year has been hopeful and productive. This is going to be a great year, but there are some things I want to share with you that may be helpful. The accompanying video is a more informal, spoken version of this note. :)
One of the great things about a new year is the ability to restart. However, the idea of setting goals and creating measurable expectations for a new year can be daunting. I joke that I’m going to write a book called "Great to Good," aiming for "Good" so our lives and activities are manageable and attainable. While that idea has some validity, many of us struggle to move forward in tangible ways because it can feel overwhelming.
This is where I'd like to recommend a recent episode from Stuck In My Head, where Alison Myers and I talk with Kristin King, who excels at laying out goals and expectations for the new year and beyond.
The contrast between Alison, myself, and Kristin is stark: Alison and I tend not to be goal setters, whereas Kristin, well, she has quite a few (dozen).
It's a fascinating conversation. The story of when Kristin decided to run a mile every day for a year, culminating in a celebratory party at our house on December 31st, is truly inspiring. Please check it out.
Still, I understand that many of us can feel inadequate when others seem to have direction and motivation, especially in resetting goals.
But one thing that many people overlook is the importance of understanding and accepting where you are as a foundational step toward reaching your goals.
This concept is fundamental in the therapy that I practice, Acceptance Commitment Therapy.
The simple idea is about learning to accept circumstances and your own headspace non-judgmentally, creating space to connect with and commit to your most important values and goals.
It can be incredibly powerful.
There's much more to this idea, but my main point here is that it's disorienting to set goals and try to commit to values without first accepting our current reality. This is why goals are often forgotten, compromised, or abandoned. We must first invest energy in accepting where we are right now, today.
Accepting where you are is one of the core principles of groups like 12-step programs: "Hello, my name is Chris. I'm an alcoholic." This acknowledgment of where we are marks the starting point. Similarly, in religious traditions, the concept of needing salvation or confession signifies a starting place. While it acknowledges pain and struggle, it also acknowledges acceptance of our current state: "This is where I'm at, and it's where I begin."
Knowing where you are is essential for moving toward where you want to be. However, when we set goals and discuss expectations and dreams, we often focus solely on those destinations without giving adequate energy to accepting our current reality.
Now, understand this: knowing where we are right now, the news isn't always great. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's somewhere in between, but it's always the truth.
So, that's the approach we take — with our relationships, health, finances, and our position in life.
We must be honest about where we are now and accept it before we can move toward where we want to go.
The new year's reset, the goals, they'll work if we first accept where we are.
When you look at your life map, this acceptance gives you a proper starting point to take small steps toward where you want to be.
My encouragement to you today is this: if you want a true reset for 2025, take a bit of time to assess where you are regarding your specific goals. Whether it's personal health, a spiritual quest, or a relational goal, be honest and accept where you currently stand. Step on the scale, review the data (it doesn’t lie), take a deep breath, and know that you are here now, you are okay, and you can take the next step.
Accept what's real, then create a manageable plan.
You don't have to reach your destination overnight.
Make your steps doable.
You can do it.
And if you're like an Enneagram 8 or someone who aims high, even aiming for the stars is better than aiming for nothing!
Accept first. Then map it out. Then take action. Rinse, repeat.
I am genuinely excited about this year. To those of you who are part of our team, thank you. Let's be present, accept where we are today, and then decide and take steps toward where we are called to go.
For those who follow and receive our newsletter, our clients, our friends — our goal is to be helpful in your lives. Thank you for all your support. Here's to a fantastic 2025. See you soon!
-Chris
Meet: Marcos Gutierrez, LAC – located in Arkansas
We all experience hurt, loss, and disappointment, and sometimes the idea of health and connection feels out of reach. As a counselor, I work to create a space where you feel heard, valued, and equipped to grow toward greater health, even as you face the messiness of life.
I believe our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs are all connected, so I work with the whole person. I enjoy working with children, adults, couples, and families, including clients facing parenting challenges.
I hold a master’s degree in Counseling with an emphasis in Play Therapy from John Brown University, and I would be honored to walk alongside you during this season of your life.
Marcos provides therapy services in both English and Spanish to better meet the needs of our diverse clients.
On the latest episode of Stuck in my Head…
Super Bowl countdown starts now! 🏆 In our latest episode, Chris and Alison chat with former Buffalo Bills player Jerry Ostroski.
From Super Bowl memories to lessons learned through sports, this episode is packed with inspiration and behind-the-scenes stories.
Plus, Jerry shares his predictions for this year’s game! Who do you think will take home the trophy?
Recent reads
Krystal: My favorite recent reads: Buy Yourself the F@*#ing Lilies, Quit Like A Woman, High Road Leadership
Julius: "Uncommon Grounds: The history of coffee and how it transformed our world." Recently finished American Gods and up next is Dune: The Butlerian Jihad
Rebecca: just finished: - Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry
Joanna: The Wheel of Time series. I'm on book 6, Lord of Chaos. Yes, I'm a giant nerd.
Andrea: "Midnight Sun" by Stephanie Meyer and "The Only One Left" by Riley Sager
